Dear Readers,
54
What We Need is a
Wise Grandmother
Imagine
having a wise old grandma upon whose lap we can lay our heads and weep our
woes. She would stroke our hair and say, "Now honey, this too will pass.
"So,
your kids are grown; that doesn't mean you're to be put out to pasture. It
simply means the beginning of a new adventure and a new contribution. Your
nerves might be in turmoil, but remember, it wasn't much fun when puberty
slapped us either. We've lived through good times and bad, and we're here. You
have your life ahead. You have a contribution to give; now dry your tears and
get to work. That's the reason we live past childbearing years—to see that our
species continues. These are your best years. And be joyful, kiddo—that's the
secret."
Abraham
Maslow, a famed psychologist of the 50s, coined the phrase "A
self-actualized person.
Maslow
said, “Stop studying the ills and look to the positive things that work."
What a
concept.
Self-actualization
is not an endpoint or a destination. It is an ongoing process in which people
stretch themselves to achieve new heights of well-being, creativity, and
fulfillment.
Maslow
believed that self-actualizing people possess
several key characteristics. These include self-acceptance, spontaneity,
independence, and the ability to have peak experiences.
According
to his theory, when a person enjoys a "peak experience," a high
point, the individual is in harmony with himself and his surroundings. Some
would call that one's spirituality.
Peak
experiences are moments of love, understanding, happiness, or rapture, during
which a person feels more whole, alive, self-sufficient, and yet a part of the
world, more aware of truth, justice, harmony, goodness, and so on.
As Maslow
puts it, spiritual life is an instinct. It can be heard through the voices
arising from within. However, two forces are pulling at the individual, not
just one. One pulls us toward health and self-actualization, the other toward
weaknesses and sickness.
According to
Maslow, religious or spiritual values are not the exclusive property of any one
religion or group. Self-actualizers are religious in their character,
attitudes, and behavior.
"Spiritual
disorders" tend toward anger or a loss of meaning. Sometimes, it is grief
or despair regarding the future. There is often a belief that one's life is
wasted and that finding joy or love is impossible.
Often, this
comes at the time we call a mid-life crisis.
What is
missing is a Grandma's lap, her soothing hand, and a stern voice telling us to
get off our duffs and get to work.