Wham! Life Hits Us.

 

“La de da da,” we come into this lifetime joyful, smiling, squirming bundles of possibilities. Oh, what fun. We will run and play and bask in the love of adoring parents. This is a vacation, playtime on earth—this beautiful planet with its colors and trees to climb and animals to play with, and…

 

Wham! Something hits us. What was that? I can’t go into the water because I can’t swim?

 

“Oh, okay, I’ll learn to swim.”

 

“La de da da. I’m a dolphin. Mom look at me. See how I glide through the water.”

 

“Mom, why are you crying?”

 

“What’s happening?”

 

“Daddy’s leaving? That can’t be. He’s supposed to stay here, live with us. You’re getting a what? A divorce? That can’t be, parents are supposed to live with each other. They are supposed to be here for me, for us, together.”

 

There are many others in the naked City, country, or hovel.

 

The point is we have created beliefs about how life is, but we go on building a life for ourselves. We go to school—well, that’s another story—the point is, though, that with those hits, we develop a view of how life is, and thus we develop a view of ourselves.

 

We see how people leave us, how we feel unloved, or how hard it was to maneuver the school playground, the lunchroom, the taunts or teasing. We might excel at interpersonal relationships, but there is usually something. We might think we are better than most—that’s an injury, too.

 

We have taken hits, and since they are emotionally charged, they impact us more than the gentle, happy ones. We were raised by parents who sustained hits of their own and, chances are, had no clue about raising kids. They had their own problems. However, together we muddled through. Maybe we had a best friend that filled in some of the holes in our psyche. Perhaps we had many friends, which further influenced our view of life.

 

The bottom line is that through all this, we developed beliefs.

 

I thought I had nothing to discuss today until I remembered yesterday’s email. A friend sent me a quote from Vincent Genna. It was, “Thoughts do not create, beliefs do.”

 

“Yes!” I yelled. “That’s the missing piece of the Law of Attraction puzzle.” We create through our beliefs, not from our thoughts. And most of those beliefs are held and exercised unconsciously.

 

Wow, this business of life is tricky.

 

But we’re adults now, and we can look back and throw those beliefs onto the wall to see if they stick. Are they true? Are they important to keep? Can we replace that belief with a more healthy, pertinent one? Perhaps they are absolutely not true. You did nothing to affect your parent’s personal problems. They were theirs, not yours. Maybe you can forgive them now.

 

I mentioned in a blog earlier that I was writing a memoir. Whenever I say it seems ostentatious to write one, think of it this way: I believe everybody should write one. Thus, my title Come On, I Dare You. Like, hey, don’t leave me alone in this. Every writer knows that a piece of writing affects the one writing it more than the one reading it.

 

From going over my life, I wonder now what my mother thought and felt when she discovered, at 16, that she was pregnant with me. I know she took her best friend with her when she went to tell my father. (I found out that later from her best friend.) She and my father got married and about four years later divorced, but that’s really all I know. She obviously felt she “Had to get married. It was shameful in those days to be an unwed mother. (Although it regularly occurred.) And she tried to hide it from me her entire life.

 

Once in the night, I heard her tell my stepdad, “I hope Joyce never finds out.” However, I knew. Kids know many things their parents try to keep from them. They also know that they shouldn’t know, so they stay quiet. I didn’t know, though, how much she suffered over finding that she was pregnant. And I don‘t know how much I shared her emotions since at the time, we were both sharing the same body.

 

That “trauma” could have contributed to some of my beliefs. 

It Takes a lot of Energy to Be Crazy

Long ago, I was a Dental Assistant. One day, the dentist realized the dentures he was making for a patient, who nit-picked at every turn, would never be right enough for her. So, although he had spent time and money taking impressions and such, he kindly asked her to find another doctor. (No fee was charged.)

 

 (Kindly, yes, although I could see veins swelling in his neck.)

He said his blood pressure would thank him.

 

Smart man.

 

This came to mind this morning when my daughter, who sells on Amazon, had such a customer.  “Help me,” the customer wrote, “cancel my order while I still have money on my credit card.” (Oh dear, the charge was already on the card. Should my daughter refund the money and swallow the 60 bucks she had already paid for the item?) The next day: “Where’s my purchase,” (Daughter gave her the mailing tracking number as her item was out of her hands and in the mail.) The next day: “Where’s my purchase?” (Doesn’t the mail service say, “Your mail may be delayed because of…you know what.”) Next, a notice came saying that item had been delivered. The lady said, “I didn’t receive it.”

 

Augh.

 

The postal service says that they use a GPS at the designated address to assure it’s delivered accurately. The lady gave my daughter a bad mark on Amazon. 

 

Augh.

 

There are worse crazies than those two women, but I ask, Do we say, "They can’t help it," and thus excuse the behavior?

 

I had a friend who had an incessant need to talk. I loved her anyway. We both had little kids, and after they were asleep, my friend and I  would stay up all night talking. At about four in the morning, she would have expended her load, and we would talk about meaningful events in our lives. The trouble was, we’d be dead tired the next day, and the kids were going strong.

 

We lived in separate towns, so our visits lasted for days. As I got older, I got smarter and went to bed earlier, but then I missed the 4 to 8 a.m. talks.

 

I know, we all have our idiosyncrasies that are only idiosyncrasies to others, not ourselves. 

 

We find that many lives have not been easy. There are traumas and abuse at every turn. Dr. Gabor Mate’, a psychologist who treats addiction, says that most addictions can be traced back to early childhood trauma. And that trauma can be inadvertently caused as it was in Dr. Mate’s case. Mate’ was born in Hungry at the time Germans were about to invade. His mother called the Pediatrician and said little Gabor was crying a lot. The doctor said, "All the babies are crying. They are picking up their mother’s worry.” Mate’ grew up to have an addiction--and overcame it.

 

As parents, we try to raise our kids to be healthy, thoughtful, caring people who think for themselves. Whoops, many parents want their kids to be better versions of themselves. We tend to pass down what we’ve been taught.

 

Then there is school bullying, ridicule, shame, the need to be top dog, get good grades, and never fail. 

 

And then we grow up and hear that some failure is inevitable. We learn from failure. (Hey, Musk’s rocket ship hit the launching pad in flames yesterday—back to the drawing board.) 

 

Long ago, I read an article about people called Indomitable. Those individuals had suffered untold hardships (like some refugees) and come through as exemplary adults. 

 

How does that happen?

 

What gives some people the resilience to carry through? 

 

When I was studying the horse’s brain, I learned that abuse can cause the Corpus colostrum to shrink. The Corpus colostrum is the bridge between the two hemispheres of the brain—it contains the wiring that allows one side of the brain to talk to the other side. People are different from horses because their Corpus colostrum is more developed so we don’t need to be trained on both sides. Perhaps, though, abuse or trauma shrinks the bridge for both man and beast.

 

One horse that had been abused by a man in a black hat developed a fear of black hats. It’s strange the connections that are made sometimes. Probably that’s one reason early traumas are so hard to track down.

 

If brains are altered, can they get back the pure spirit they were born with? 

 

There is so much we do not know and so many errors to be made.

 

The Native Americans knew this and said we would understand if we walked a mile in another person’s moccasins.

 

Even my little dog, who used to love going with me in the car, now has some apprehension. It began with bottles rattling in the trunk. No, it started when a firecracker hit the sky beyond our back fence the moment I opened the door to let her outside. That sensitized Sweet Pea to loud noises—like bottles rattling. When she experienced the truck bumping into another vehicle, that cinched the deal.  

 

However, I figure if she learned that behavior, she can unlearn it.

 

And so can we.

 

Now we are afraid of catching a dreaded virus, we’re afraid of dying, we’re afraid of other people, we’re afraid of being breathed upon, and we can’t get together with friends and family. And even going to the grocery store is a pain in the neck.

 

You see, FEAR is our greatest enemy. Yeah, I know, I am repeating myself.

 

Fear has made us sniveling images of our former selves. My thought is, perhaps we pumped up this virus because we feared it so much. 

 

This flu is is severe, I’m giving it that. However, I learned today that for under 20-year-olds, the recovery rate is 99.99%; for 20-40 year-olds, the recovery is 99.8%, age 50, 99.5%, and 95% for people over 70.

 

Good news, huh?

 

Of the ones who passed on the the Happy Hunting Grounds, their health was already severely compromised. 

 

We’ve had other severe influenzas that didn’t shut down the world.

 

We’ve had people in times past die of the flu (I’m sorry.) And now the media won’t leave it alone. Now they scare us with flu variants. 

 

What if—stay with me here—what if, instead of being off-kilter and afraid, we erase thoughts of Covid19 from our minds?

 

Would this pandemic wither up and go away as other flu's eventually do?

 

I don’t know. 

 

I’m going to stop talking about it. 

 

That’s impossible.

 

Well, I can stop writing about it.

 

That’s possible.

 

But before I do, let me tell you I was blown away by Dr. Simone Gold, a board-certified emergency room doctor who spoke about the Covid19 vaccine. By definition, it is not a vaccine but an “Experimental biological agent.” You might give this video a look-see. It’s the best I’ve seen and heard.

 

 https://lbry.tv/@Arkeadius:a/nwnw20210114:c